10 Yoga Commandments

(how to use or abuse Yoga)


1.  Practice regularly - after a while you won't be needing anyone to scratch your back. Or to put sunscreen lotion on it (if that is an advantage?).

2.  Yoga will teach you how to focus and detach yourself from outer world. Or how to look focused while detached. This skill may come handy, for example while listening to your husband/wife, in-laws, boss...

3.  If Yoga is responsible for your weight loss, you might get tempted to indulge in sweets. Don't let it happen! Remember- moderation is a key word in Yoga. No pain no gain -pardon me, (weight) loss. Or no guilt, no perfect waistline.

4.  If you get so good at throwing leg behind your back, or kissing your pubic bone, or doing a headstand for couple of hours, you'll might want to become a freak-show. Even if tempted, don't change your line of work.

5.  Don't let Yoga stand in your way of chasing money or being complete bastard/bitch.

6.  Yoga makes your backbone so flexible. It also affects your digestive system (could be helpful for bending, sucking up to your boss or if you have to swallow much-whatever).

7.  Don't overdo Yoga! You could become nice to other people. Or beautiful beyond recognition. 

8.  Practicing Yoga brings awareness of your body&mind to the next level. Be careful! Healthy lifestyle may become your second nature.

9.  Yoga is a way to get in touch with your inner-self. OUCH!

10. And remember - from the first morning wake-up stretch, through your all daily activities, to evening deep, baby, yoga nidra - whether you want it or not, you can't get away -Yoga is everything and everywhere